This past weekend if anyone was paying attention Megan and Harry, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex did their first interview since they stepped down as senior members of the royal family.
Some of the things that were shared were not all that surprising like when Megan said that it was in fact Duchess Kate that made her cry not the other way around. Other things though, like when she mentioned a conversation that Harry and another member of the family had about the color of their future baby’s skin had me livid. I’m sure my face was similar to Oprah’s and all the rest of America when that was shared. And when she talked about wanting to end her life because she thought everyone would be better off…no words. With everything in me I hope that a lot if it was miscommunication but I don’t believe it was.
However, the fallout from this interview has been what has bothered me the most.
The Talk, one of my favorite daytime shows talked about it. And Sharon Osborne, whom I love, since I spent most of my childhood watching her and her family on MTV because The Osbornes was one of my favorite shows to watch, came to the defense of one of her good friends Piers Morgan after he stormed off the set of Good Mornings Britian after another anchor corrected him about his coverage of Megan over the course of the last few years.
This anchor was right, Piers Morgan, at least to me, is awful. He never has anything positive to say, ever. And as far as Megan goes, he hates the fact that she even breathes it seems like. There is nothing that the Duke and Duchess can do that he will have a positive thing to say about. Well the next day quite a few viewers took issue with the fact that Sharon stuck up for him and when the ladies on the panel tried to explain why, she was outraged.
I’m not sure why but yesterday on the show I was watching how she interacted with my favorite panelist Elaine, who is amazing and a powerhouse and seriously my shero and I just got the impression that she didn’t like her or was still angry with her at least. It made me sad. While I really like Amanda too, I think Elaine is the best part of the new panel. I was sad when Eve left but when I saw it was her as the replacement I was excited.
It just made me think about the previous day when Elaine was trying to explain to Mrs. O how a lot of times people don’t realize that things they say or do can be seen as racist until somebody brings it up. And I feel like that was one of those moments for Mrs. O and I think it made her angry. Like she was thinking who is this little girl talking to me like this. And you could tell it also made Elaine uncomfortable to have that conversation on air like that. I don’t even think she was referring to Mrs. O when she was saying it. She was talking about Piers and how he may not actually realize what he’s saying is racist because no one has brought it to his attention. Although the guest anchor did try and he stormed off so it’s possible they have tried and he just didn’t listen.
Anyway, it made me think about how way too often as women of color we are placed in situations where we have to either shy away, or dim ourselves to make everyone else more comfortable around us and to be honest it gets old. It takes a toll on you and your self esteem.
What I saw that day was a very familiar scene. One that I’ve seen and lived way too many times in my own life. Two alpha females, both sure of themselves, but both very different. On the surface it looked like the more aggressive of the alphas won (Mrs. O) but in actuality the one who was calm under pressure and didn’t shy away from the challenge was the winner (Elaine). Because who bounced back just a bit quicker and who was still reeling after the break and the rest of the episode as well as the next?
I feel like it’s those types of instances that bring out the underlying racism in individuals that otherwise have no racism to be seen in them, and I think that is what is happening on The Talk. And it is happening all over I believe as well. I think for so long many white people that have prided themselves on not being racist, that in this time that calls for more than just not being racist but being antiracist, it has forced them to really see that deep inside some of them may in fact be racist. This goes for non whites as well. To be anti racist means to be against racism of any and all kinds. And it has forced a lot of us to look in the mirror. And that isn’t always easy.
In this time where so many black women are not only embracing their curls but also their power, it has to be disconcerting for people who aren’t used to seeing it.
My only advice for them would be to open your hands and hearts to catch some of this black girl magic. Get used to us and other persons of color being here because we aren’t going anywhere. And realize that just because we are winning doesn’t mean you can’t win too. There’s more than enough space for each of us.
